The Louis Pasteur of Junkiedom ([info]calamityjon) wrote,
@ 2008-10-15 07:45:00
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Are you excited? I'm excited.
Yesterday's poll came in with tightly-contested matches between all players, precisely 51.9% of all votes went to the winners in their respective contests, constituting a narrow edge-out in either case. NOW! Golems! Imperfect clay homonculi from Jewish folklore! Werewolves! Globally pervasive folkloric archetype of behavioral atavism! But you really only know them from AD&D and White Wolf, so let's have them fight it out!

(The poll is INVISIBLE! For SECRECY!)

I do not exaggerate when I say that I am excited almost beyond the point of expressing it. So to that end I add "Yay!"


Let us never forget the rules:

Monsters were chosen by the following guidelines:
  • No individual specific monsters - i.e. Count Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster - were selected. Monsters are defined solely by TYPE.
  • For the purposes of this poll, only human-like monsters were used, excluding all non-human monsters such as dragons, evil animals and, I don't know, cursed refrigerators or something
  • Which are the two reasons neither King Kong nor Godzilla are on this list. Now you know.
  • All monsters come from this Wikipedia list and also a couple I remembered.
  • It's limited to 30 participants by way of LJ Poll limitations, so none of this "OH YOU FORGOT MOTHMANS" or whatever, I had to make cuts.
  • However, convincing suggestions made in comments will encourage me to add monsters in the bye rounds.
  • Your selection criteria is totally your own, decide between the monsters however you feel is appropriate.


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[info]calamityjon
2008-10-15 02:45 pm UTC (link)
Also, while reading up on these monsters leading up to the poll, I came across what is now probably my favorite Werewolf story; in 1692, a man on trial for being a werewolf insisted - even under physical punishment - that while he was indeed a werewolf, he was a divine werewolf, literally a "Hound of God." Furthermore, he went on that all across Germany and Russia, other men became werewolves at God's behest, to fight the devil and keep him from claiming portions of the Earth as his own. I would like to propose that this idea is BAD-ASS, and also probably what would've been the backstory had Devils beaten Golems in the last round ...

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]roninspoon
2008-10-15 03:11 pm UTC (link)
An anti-hero in 1692? Does Frank Miller know about this?

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)
(no subject) - [info]amanofhats, 2008-10-15 03:15 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]roninspoon, 2008-10-15 04:18 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]amanofhats, 2008-10-15 04:19 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]roninspoon, 2008-10-15 04:23 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]oilyrags, 2008-10-15 06:06 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]stevietee, 2008-10-15 03:48 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]calamityjon, 2008-10-15 03:59 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]roninspoon, 2008-10-15 04:23 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]oilyrags
2008-10-15 03:51 pm UTC (link)
"I would like to propose that this idea is BAD-ASS"

Seconded!

I read somewhere when I was a kid that if your index and middle fingers are the same length, you a werewoof, son. Guess what about my hand measurements?

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)
(no subject) - [info]calamityjon, 2008-10-15 03:59 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]oilyrags, 2008-10-15 04:05 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]oilyrags, 2008-10-15 04:26 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]octopoid
2008-10-15 02:46 pm UTC (link)
At this point, I'm happy no matter who wins.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]calamityjon
2008-10-15 03:59 pm UTC (link)
That's the best possible attitude to have.

When monsters fight, we all win!

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]misterscarecrow
2008-10-15 02:54 pm UTC (link)
GOD I seriously almost got chills I have been waiting for like 24 hours to be able to VOTE GOLEM.

GOD

This is the best

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)

[info]misterscarecrow
2008-10-15 03:02 pm UTC (link)
HEY EVERYONE IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW WEREWOLVES ARE PRO-LIFE REPUBLICANS

(Reply to this) (Parent)
(no subject) - [info]orrin, 2008-10-15 03:09 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]hipsterdetritus
2008-10-15 02:55 pm UTC (link)
If this was an actual political campaign, Golems would run attack ads against werewolves accusing them of palling around with furries.

(Reply to this)


[info]calamityjon
2008-10-15 02:58 pm UTC (link)
Haha, "Werevoles," I fucking rule.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]joshpm
2008-10-15 03:08 pm UTC (link)
I would TOTALLY vote for werevoles!!

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]b_zedan
2008-10-15 03:00 pm UTC (link)
As much as I love Golems, lycanthropy is amazingly pervasive and has fascinating ties into social culture.

This was a really difficult vote and now I think maybe I voted stupid.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]misterscarecrow
2008-10-15 03:01 pm UTC (link)
If you voted werewolf then you voted stupid.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)
(no subject) - [info]b_zedan, 2008-10-15 03:03 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]amanofhats, 2008-10-15 03:17 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]inkboy
2008-10-15 03:19 pm UTC (link)
A Golem is just a magic statue. Werewolves, all the way.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]calamityjon
2008-10-15 03:22 pm UTC (link)
Sir, need I remind you, according to the Judeo-Christian creation myth, we are golem! Why, if it weren't for our propensity to mutter, we'd be dust ...

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)
(no subject) - [info]amanofhats, 2008-10-15 03:29 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]inkboy, 2008-10-15 04:27 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]littlewashu
2008-10-15 03:19 pm UTC (link)
So is the winner going to battle mothmans in an extra special bonus round, or . . . ?

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]calamityjon
2008-10-15 03:22 pm UTC (link)
Sleestaks.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]amanofhats
2008-10-15 03:20 pm UTC (link)
Stumpp/Talbot 2008: Change we can really believe in.

(Reply to this)


[info]littlewashu
2008-10-15 03:31 pm UTC (link)
Also my favorite part of golems is the handprint. Just the idea of a holy man, imbuing him with life by placing his hand on his head . . . beautiful. (I can't find any internet confirmation of that, but I'm pretty sure I didn't make it up. It was in The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay.)

Werewolves are gross and hairy. I hadn't realized they'd been around so long, though! Man, Virgil, really? Neat.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]calamityjon
2008-10-15 04:04 pm UTC (link)
They are one of our most primal myths, almost certainly tapping into every fear man ever had - fear of betrayal, of incursion, of being conquered by indiscernable foes, of the dark, of the wild. They are pretty great, the further back you go.

In the unpublished chapter of Dracula, there's a really strange bit with a wolf who protects Jonathan Harker from a supernatural snowstorm and from a vampire who is luring Harker to her tomb. In the morning, Dracula tells Harker that he was remiss in not warning him to be careful of the snow and the wolves in the night, even though the wolf was seemingly there to protect him. IT IS REALLY CHILLING AND MENACING, I like that bit a lot ...

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]oilyrags
2008-10-15 04:14 pm UTC (link)
Hey, I just 'membered? Didja check out Truman and Corben's werewolf story in the recent issue of Conan the Cimmerian? Pretty decent, actually.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]calamityjon
2008-10-15 04:18 pm UTC (link)
Man, no, I haven't checked out any new books in a couple weeks, I'll give it a swing.

I'm hoping there's more Corben Hellboy coming down the pike, personally ...

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)
(no subject) - [info]oilyrags, 2008-10-15 04:24 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]coffeeinhell
2008-10-15 05:01 pm UTC (link)
Golems, pfffft.

WEREWOLVES ARE GO!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]radrobot
2008-10-15 07:15 pm UTC (link)
My thoughts exactly.

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[info]internought
2008-10-15 05:35 pm UTC (link)
Golems all the way. Werewolves are too cuddly.

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[info]zombiepatrick
2008-10-15 08:13 pm UTC (link)
My first experience with Golems was in Dragon Warrior, and I thought they were totally rad.

Then I saw one in X-Files and was a hundred times less impressed.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]zifferent
2008-10-15 08:50 pm UTC (link)
No way! I saw the picture and the monster music came unbidden to my mind. I had to have listened to it millions of times while beating that game.

Gah! Slime runs away! Come back here you coward!

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]mr_earbrass
2008-10-15 08:31 pm UTC (link)
Golems trouncing werewolves? Is this really the world you want to live in? Clark Ashton Smith had a short story with just this scenario (er, the fight, not the LJ debate), only the golem was a real robot instead of a punkass medieval prototype. Granted, said story caved-in to pro-man-made-monster propaganda, but this is Life, not a game or a kiddie story, and natural forces (wolfmen) will destroy the foolish labors of man! Thoreau those golems into Walden pond, lycanthropes!

(Reply to this)


[info]super_donkey
2008-10-15 09:35 pm UTC (link)
WHAT THE HELL? GOLEMS BEATING WHEREWOLVES?? what kind of fallen world do we live in?

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[info]super_donkey
2008-10-15 09:36 pm UTC (link)
-H. guh.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]tmbgcat
2008-10-15 10:48 pm UTC (link)
I can't believe this is so close. Someone better vote for some goddamn Golems up in here pretty quick.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]misterscarecrow
2008-10-15 10:55 pm UTC (link)
Dude I've been spreading the word everywhere today, and driving people to the polls and all that. I'm doing what I can.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)
(no subject) - [info]tmbgcat, 2008-10-16 01:57 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]misterscarecrow, 2008-10-16 02:24 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]tmbgcat, 2008-10-16 04:01 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]misterscarecrow, 2008-10-16 12:53 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]jaggedtoothgrin
2008-10-16 12:32 am UTC (link)
damnit people, if golems beat werewolves, whitewolf will create more promethean books. DO YOU PEOPLE NOT SEE WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO THE WORLD?!!!

(Reply to this)


[info]clockworkmonkey
2008-10-16 01:25 am UTC (link)
Holy cats, tied up 75-75!

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[info]dan0213
2008-10-16 09:57 am UTC (link)
I dinna believe this... the Golems are ahead! There is NO WAY a golem could beat a werewolf... I mean, all the wolfman has to do is scratch of the "e" in "emeth" of the golem's damn forehead and the thing keels over!

Go Werewolves!

(Reply to this)


[info]jaggedtoothgrin
2008-10-16 10:17 am UTC (link)
it's not about who would win in a fight, it's about the golem supporters rigging the election so they can justify a war on false pretences.

that is what it's about isn't it? filthy golemites XD

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