April 2015

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Oh yeah, and if you're not over on Twitter, then here are all the idiotic ramblings I made yesterday regarding St.Patrick's Day. Enjoy the following St.Factricks:

St.Patrick's Day fact: All the world's Viagra is manufactured in County Cork, Ireland. And that's a St.Factrick!

St.Patrick's Day fact: Irish people can put curses on you if you cross them, so don't cross them! St.Factrick!

St.Patrick's Day fact: St.Patrick not only drove the snakes out of Ireland, but he also drove a Pontiac GTO. St.Factrick!

St.Patrick's Day fact: Bartenders across the US are getting sick of drawing them little shamrocks on Guinesses right about now. St.Factrick!

St.Patrick's Day fact: St.Patrick's Day is nice and everything, but if you ask 'em, most everybody prefers St.Albus' Eve. St.Factrick!

St.Patrick's Day fact: babies born on St.Patrick's Day are traditionally baptized in corned beef and cabbage juice. St.Factrick!

St.Patrick's Day fact: There are only six official St.Patrick's Day facts, not counting this one, which makes seven. St.Factrick!

Anyway, today is the day we officially celebrate St.Patrick getting all those motherfucking snakes off this motherfucking plane.

I will say the following, though: Even though Irish people can put curses on you, most of them only work inside Ireland. Like, "May you be halfway on the road to Kilkenny when you realize you're meant to be in Dublin, turr too turr too turr" and "May you spill beef stew on your best vest on your way to Galloway, and everyone thinks you're a fuckin' slob, turr too turr too turr."

Seriously, once you're over the border, it's clear sailing from Irish curses. And that's a St.Factrick.


Irish Luck: You step in dog crap, but you're wearing your old shoes.
My Irish forebears ended their curses with "toi tee toi tee toi" but you're right, they were extremely regionally specific.
No wonder everyone in Cork were walking so uncomfortably. It must be the water.
Galloway's in Scotland though.
Evidently, I should have said "Galway."